I am referring, of course, to Girl With the Extremely Well-Modulated Voice. It’s uncanny at first—like getting a cup of coffee from Katie Couric, if Katie Couric were a vaguely sad 26 year-old in an Amherst Crew t-shirt who, whenever no one was in line to buy coffee, slowly undid and redid her ponytail and then sighed heavily. I am concerned that she is using her extremely well-modulated voice as a shield. During the period of time after you have placed your order but before they have given you your change, when everyone is free to discuss whatever topics they consider pertinent, the rest of the coffee shop girls are very open. Once you’ve been in there a few times, they will cheerfully tell you about how they’re meeting with a midwife later or give you an article they photocopied from Newsweek about Glenn Gould or whatever. Girl With the Extremely Well-Modulated Voice, however, will only ask you if there’s anything else she can get you today. GWtEW-MV ends way too many sentences with “today,” as if she viewed her life as one unbroken stretch of customer service, within which the present moment is only a passing inflection in a long, pleasingly-enunciated sentence. -danbrooks via CombatBlog